In about 12 hours, I have to go to surgery and get all four wisdom teeth taken out. It will be my first surgery and even though it’s minor, I still don’t know what to expect. But that part doesn’t really make me nervous. What makes me the most nervous is what will happen after. After the surgery is done and I’m back home.
I have suffered from chronic migraines for about four years now. I suffered with migraines two nights a week at least and I was relieved if I made it through the day with just a headache. I just recently found a few things that help. I stopped drinking alcohol completely (not that I was ever a big drinker anyway). I drink a lot more water now, I gave up sugary drinks, and sugary foods. These changes seemed to help. I was able to start counting the number of migraines by how many a month, instead of how many a week.
I want the migraines to go away completely. And the last thing that might be causing them is my wisdom teeth. So why am I nervous? I should be excited that it will all be over soon, but I’m not.
The surgery does not scare me at all. What scares me is the thought that it won’t work. What if I still have migraines? Then the last thing that I am clinging to to fix me isn’t what’s really wrong with me. Then there is something else wrong. What if I never find it? At least right now I can tell myself, “Your migraines are most likely caused by your wisdom teeth.” There is some comfort in knowing what’s wrong with you, even if it’s because you’re being naive. But if the surgery goes well and I still have migraines, then I’m back to not knowing.
I thought I had it figured out. I changed my diet, I gave up food that I loved, all in hopes that it would fix me. But it didn’t completely fix me. That left me very frustrated. Sure it reduced the number of migraines I got but it was still a disappointment when I got that first migraine after giving up all of those other things. Am I going to be left disappointed again? I’m not giving anything up this time, at least not something I would notice. But it is my last hypothetical reason for these migraines.
I’m not saying that in, now 11 hours, I’m not going to strap on my boots and walk into that surgery. I am nervous for the changes afterward. But I am more nervous that nothing will change.
It is time to go find out for sure. If I look at this through another lens, at least I’ll be able to cross one more item off my list of things that I have tried to rid myself of these migraines.