Give me a moment to be weak. Give me a moment to cry. Give me a moment to feel like all is lost.
After this moment I will be strong again. After this moment I will come up with a plan. After this moment I will put my life back together.
But for now, for this moment, let me cry in the shower. Reduce myself to a puddle. Let the stress wash over me and let it all out.
I will be stronger for tomorrow because then I will have to make a plan. A plan to figure out how to pay for my last four credits of college, a plan on how to keep my horse.
I received an e-mail from my college stating that I owed them $1560 by tomorrow or my internship, the final task before graduation, will be dropped. I have no financial-aid or loans left to take out. I don’t even have close to that much money in the bank. So I had to borrow from my dad, who didn’t even have the money to loan me. I made a 1/3rd payment. In 2 months I owe the other 2/3rd’s. I have to find a way to pay him back and earn enough to make the other payment.
Then I received news that the land I have kept my horse on for 4 1/2 years is now no longer available to me and I have to have him off of it by July first. A month and a half away. I don’t even know where to turn to fix this. My family can’t really afford to move to a new house. But loosing my horse would be like loosing my legs, my freedom, my everything.
So give me a moment, a moment to be weak, cry, and feel lost. Tomorrow I will be better. I will be strong again. But give me this moment.