I would define myself as a silent control freak. I am not extremely vocal about it but I never put myself in a situation where I do not have control. I do not like to be in big crowds of people because I never know what is going to happen. In my job, I tell people how I want things done and if it doesn’t get done that way I have to redo it before I can more onto the next task. When I train new people, I take over at the first sign of a problem instead of letting them work it out themselves. At school, when I have to do group work, I usually volunteer to do the majority of the assignment so that I can be sure it gets done right. When I go to restaurants with friends I step up to give my name as the reservation before anyone else can. I have a certain way I take care of my horse and I do not like when the system gets messed up. I have a very distinct way that I keep my tack when I am done using it and I do not like it when other people touch it. When I put dishes in the dishwasher I practically wash them by hand before they go through the wash cycle.
In all of these areas and in several more I have to be in control. The problem is, this is exhausting and stressful. So I have decided to give up some of this control obsession. In certain areas I have forced myself to let go, and in other areas it has been easy. Allowing some of my fellow students do some of the group work has been a challenge because every time they deviate from how I would do it I want to grab the reins, but I am working on letting go. At work, I have tried to be more laid back and allow other people to do the work themselves without redoing it. Then at the restaurant, I can allow someone else to take the control and relax into just following.
There are some areas where I have not made any changes because I just can’t, I still have to wash the dishes before loading them into the dishwasher; I still have to take care of my horse and my my tack a certain way, and I still do not like big crowds of people.
At least I have made progress in some areas. By giving up the things I do not constantly need to control I can hopefully relieve some stress and relax.
Are there areas where you have to be in control?